“If you had to go through it, you might as well learn to grow through it!”
The term VICTIM doesn’t have to be a “static” term or even a “state of being” and it certainly doesn’t have to be your final destination! WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO MORPH OUR REALITY FROM THE REALM OF “VICTIM” INTO THE REALM OF “SURVIVOR”!!! With some help, I personally believe that we actually have that power within us… I KNOW WE DO!!!
Being a survivor of domestic abuse means finding our footing again, with ourselves, those around us and our communities. It means finding our own way in this world again, one that encourages self love and growth instead of controlling and stifling. It also means learning to believe and trust in our own realities again. This is not an easy one for us because we’ve lived for a long time in someone else’s version of what they wanted our reality to be. After all, we were brutally deceived and treated very badly by the ones we loved the most, which unfortunately produces a very toxic type of damaging stress and mental anguish. Being a survivor also means clawing your way back towards the light with whatever strength is left of your badly broken and battered soul and spirit because you feel total annihilation closing in. Sometimes it gets so close you can feel it breathing down the back of your neck, waiting for another moment of weakness, to close in on you. It is much too close for comfort much too often. The Devil is constantly whispering in your ear that you are not strong enough to handle his storm…
Being a survivor also means remembering being at annihilation’s doorstep, where it could have gone either way, and being very thankful I’m still here. Being a survivor also means learning to believe in the power of the human spirit and our ability and capacity to heal ourselves and each other. Especially when there is nothing expected in return. It means forging our own paths again, some of us with not much time left, instead of following the path of least resistance. It means no more walking on eggshells or having your :fight or flight: go off every time you hear them drive up, open the door to come in the house or hear their footsteps coming your way. It also means that “critical” voice in your head is no longer “theirs” but is your own once again and eventually we learn to go easier on ourselves because there’s no way we could have known what we were in for or up against. We didn’t stand a chance and they made sure of it. It does not take “two to tango” in these cases, it is a dance belonging only to the abuser, our feet stuck on theirs, flinging you in whichever direction they please and still managing to be 5 steps ahead of us all the while. They try to convince you it’s country music you’re listening to while you could swear you’re hearing rock. Being a survivor means learning to be our own advocate. It means finding courage, being brave and speaking out to help and educate others with this new found wisdom,, even when we’d rather someone else be the example and do the educating. It means being a voice for those that don’t have a voice or for those that have a voice but aren’t “allowed” to use it. It means finding happiness in the little things and trusting people again. It is a time of personal growth where we learn to find ourselves all over again, this new person we’ve become, a version of our former selves, takes a while to get acquainted with. Finding the parameters of this new “me” isn’t easy. We’ve been worn down and broken down, turned inside out and lost a part of ourselves along the way. Parts of us may have even died during this journey but remember though, with death comes transformation and rebirth! As domestic abuse survivors, we have gone through a metamorphosis and have been transformed and OH MY… what we’ve gained in wisdom, strength and compassion!!!
💟WE ARE STRONG, RESILIENT AND WE DID NOT AND WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT.💟
💕💓💞What does being a domestic abuse survivor mean to YOU???
