🎆FIRST ENTRY FOR QUANTUM HURTING🎆

Here it is, October 18, 2023 and now I understand why “something” was blocking me from returning to my book writing, which I left off in 2019, I remember wanting to get back to it but every time I’d look over at my writing nook, it’s like there was a big brick wall there blocking my access to it. I could see it in my head, a big gray wall…cinder block to be exact.

That didn’t really make much sense to me at the time, all I knew is that “something” was preventing me from simply, physically walking over to my writing nook, where my desk was located, sitting down and resuming. Weird! Never in my wildest could I imagine what that reason might end up being. It was actually a tremendous realization! Now I know the “WHY” and how that all ties into the big picture of what my book is about, the direction I want to take it, and the many messages it is trying to convey and the newer sciences I am helping to introduce. Had I continued where I left off at the time (approx. 5  yrs ago), I would have missed what I believe to be the absolute under-pinning of the “root cause” of WHY people really develop auto immune diseases. Let me repeat that, I am not just talking about identifying the root cause of these full blown auto immune diseases but going much deeper than that and identifying the “why” behind your body’s reaction to trauma/adversity, in the first place, especially when the offender is a parent, family member or trusted superior and the abuse is sustained over a prolonged period of time. I looked to the quantum field. It was here that I found my answers. The quantum field, specifically the Quantum Hurting part (180* opposite of Quantum Healing), is where auto immune diseases lie in wait. It’s the place where science, religion and spirituality all intersect and we are learning more about it everyday.

I think at this point, most of us have learned that auto immune diseases are driven by inflammation. OK, but what is “initiating and driving” such a massive amount of inflammation (and what’s causing that , by the way) that your body switches into “self-attack/self betrayal” mode? It’s not because you’re eating too many fries or not exercising enough or being too sedentary. Sure, those things can cause and exacerbate inflammation but not the massive amount and type that it takes to brew up these internal storms known as autoimmune diseases Well, so far, I have researched toxic materials and metals such as; lead and none of those studies clearly show a cause and effect relationship between any of those and the sustained illness of a full blown autoimmune disease. There are correlations/associations, but no distinct causation listed in any of those studies. I’ll go even a step further by adding that not only is there not a clear cause and effect relationship established but none of those studies properly controlled for trauma/abuse/adversity within their test subjects (which turns out to be the biggest cause of these illnesses after the fact). So doesn’t that make those studies inherently flawed and therefore invalid anyway?!?

Since I couldn’t write the last few years, due to a severe case of writer’s block, I kept my self very busy. I went to real estate school and am now selling new homes for a major builder in a new community here in Southern Arizona. I knew writing, publishing and marketing a book would be very costly so I needed a way to fund my venture! I also ended up absolutely loving my new career and company and in the meantime, I continued my truth finding journey….What I learned was astonishingly deep. Because of my personal experiences and previous research, I had learned that when an individual develops an auto immune illness from the abuse/trauma of a loved one, specifically their caretakers, their “spirit/soul” becomes damaged and eventually broken, as a result the body begins developing the same overall set of symptoms, which eventually end up as a full blown auto immune disease. A psychoanalyst researching abuse in children, by the name of, William Niederland, developed the term “soul murder” as the effect it had on its young victims. An effect that was the “erasing awareness and cultivating denial are often seen as essential to survival, but the price is that you lose track of who you are, of what you are feeling, and of what and whom you can trust.” Not to mention, that is exactly what it feels like. That always stuck with me because that is exactly what the perpetrator/abuser is doing (on purpose). They are trying to badly injure and even kill your spirit, your very essence and therefore soul. Their abuse is designed to get you to try to doubt yourself and then hate yourself and make you believe you have all types of deficiencies and are therefore bad or faulty. They want to breed self directed anger, dislike and hatred, within you. Now being very spiritual, I came to a massive realization that with the above in mind, does that not make auto immune diseases SPIRITUAL AILMENTS/ILLNESSES, FIRST, before they even physically manifest?!? Hmmmm….

During this time, I also had to come to the harsh realization that there is an awful lot of evil in this world. No, I mean deep dark evil that goes beyond anything we could have ever imagined. And it is real and it is powerful. Those that partake literally enjoy imparting harm and destruction on good, God loving and innocent people and watching their pain, may times with a twinkle in their eye. Now with that in mind, doesn’t that sound an awful lot like attempts to purposefully annihilate someone’s spirit and inner happiness? That is actually the overall big picture dynamic of the Good vs evil war, isn’t it?

Maybe we need to do less needle injections and pill popping and work on modalities that heal and nurture that badly broken spirit and soul, such as, positive affirmations, long walks in nature, light yoga, stretching, self-care activities, purposeful and restorative nutrition (biohacking), restoring your positive self image and self talk and possibly most important of all-self LOVE. Forgiveness is also an incredible healer as well. Bottom up type therapies are very effective. Much of this is what helped me spontaneously heal, unknowingly at first, until I noticed it. I only started investigated when I mysteriously began to heal after my divorce from a marriage of almost 30 yrs.

Then I dove even deeper…I wanted to know about the worst of the worst, what the most depraved psychopaths are capable of and sadly I learned about the horrific systematic ritual abuse of children. Done in the name of Gods that most of us don’t pray to. Abuse beyond imagination that is designed to “split” the child’s psyche. Done for the purpose of greatly increasing the likelihood of the victim developing multiple personality disorders, etc. Abused to the point that when they look in the mirror, they no longer recognize themselves! On a deeper level, these spirits have been so obliterated (on purpose), that they NO LONGER RECONGIZE THE PERSON STARING BACK AT THEM IN THE MIRROR! Sounds like an awful lot of spirit and soul murder going on here. At the very least, this is a spiritual crisis of epic proportions that goes back to the basic fundamental battle between good and evil. The perpetrator is never good, well intentioned or having your best interests in mind but rather, intentionally tear you down and then revel in the pain you’re enduring in a sadistic way with little to no remorse. They watch, very pleased with themselves, as you are reduced to nearly nothing. This has EVIL written all over it, while quite the opposite is true of the victim. They are usually children or at the very least, vulnerable or meek and terribly overpowered by no fault of their own. “God’s” sweet little angels sent from heaven, ya?!? The central nervous system and immune system can only make sense of such an opposing and insidious intrusion into itself by going into fight or flight, which in turn begins the process of creating a pro-inflammatory environment within the immune system which in turn begins to attack the body. Yes, the body betrays itself. It self. SELF. THE SELF. But it is not confused. It takes that corresponding message inward and starts mimicking what it’s been enduring on the outside but inwardly directed at that new/stranger that it now dislikes and maybe even despises.  Probably not the first time you’ve heard that notion. The spirit and essence of that child has been so battered that it no longer recognizes itself as “itself”. It now becomes part self and part stranger, especially to the immune system, which now identifies this “stranger” element/ invader, an antagonist, if you will, within us that it feels it must attack it and continue a prolonged and ongoing attack.

I believe this makes autoimmune diseases both a paradox and a living contradiction.  paradox because it truly defies logical and expectations. A contradiction because the body contradicts itself. Betrays itself because part of it has become alien, an intruder. Part something that the “whole”  doesn’t like/want and this certainly can get much worse.

Now I have a question for you-which emotion can we usually associate with betrayal? We would feel a level of sadness, bitter, etc ultimately leading to the big bad emotion of Anger. Yes, now we are on to something! Could it be that the person being beaten down begins to believe and therefore internalize the messages being fed to them by their perpetrator? You’re a terrible person, you are worthless, If you had done that then I wouldn’t have had to do this, I wish you were never born and worse, much, much, much worse. The victim starts taking on this hatred for self and begins the bitter descent into self-disgust, self-disappointment, and eventual full blown self-hatred because I can tell you that the perpetrator WANTS YOU TO START DISTRUSTING AND HATING YOURSELF. Evil trumping good, on a spiritual level. And because we are spiritual beings made of vibration, frequency and energy, manifested as the human body, it does cause malfunctions in the body. OF COURSE, IT DOES! This all eventually manifests into the set of symptoms they call auto immune diseases. They don’t start out as full blown autos, however, they like to creep up on you disguised as such things as Fibromyalgia, IBS, PTSD, Thyroid issues, chronic fatigue syndrome and other gut/GI issues, muscle pain/stiffness, headaches and the like. As the inflammation increase in the immune system, things worsen, and disease develops.