When my teammates and I were playing in the National Championship game of Division I Softball, against the much feared and defending champion Juggernaut that was the UCLA softball team, I thought for sure they would be the “toughest” adversaries I would ever have to face (especially for this small town girl), but boy, was I wrong! Adulthood and life had a few juggernauts of its own that it was waiting to hurl at me. Somethings and someone much more powerful, insidious and destructive than anything I had ever experienced. Things for which I had neither practiced nor prepared for. I didn’t have any strategies or a game plan for what I was about to face, nor did I understand the gravity of what any of it would eventually mean. The UCLA softball team, on that day, was not the toughest I’d ever have to battle, but it sure was great practice!
Fast forward, oh about 34 yrs and “POOF” here I am…barely! Hold on a second while I finish picking myself up off the ground, dust myself off and re-attach my spine, backbone and self-esteem… OK…I’ve made it to the other side and I may have come crawling out it looking like I just met the bad end of a Spanish bullfight 🐂but dammit I’m still standing!!! 💥😍🦾 Now, I’m writing about my experiences as I believe they are unique in several ways which I feel makes them a valuable tool for helping and inspiring others, and the writing part (purging of the toxicity within me) is extremely healing for me!
So have you ever heard of that book, “The Sociopath Nextdoor”??? Well, I lived a real life version of that, except the sociopath wasn’t next door, he was sleeping with me in my bed, and he wasn’t a sociopath, as much as he was… a narcissistic psychopath (and there is a difference). He was my husband and I was with him for almost 30 years…It’s just too bad I didn’t know it or even realize it till it was much, much too late…