“The unrelenting undercurrent of abusive behavior is like the riptide that sucks you out to sea to be forever lost in the confusion of murky waters and he is the shark that continues to circle and rip pieces from you until there is literally nothing left. The beast has been fed, now he’s off to another beach.”
With the 3 fairly new branches of science, neuroscience, developmental psychopathology and interpersonal neurobiology, we are finding out exactly how toxic stress, intense emotions, torment and mental anguish that domestic and child abuse (refer to the ACE studies) produces, can and does cause a variety of physical ailments and diseases. This science shows us exactly how it happens. According to Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk in his book, “The Body Keeps the Score; Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma”, both physical and psychological trauma (from verbal, emotional, sexual, and other abuses including neglect, rejection and abandonment) cause actual physiological changes in our bodies which include, a recalibration of not only our brain’s alarm system (namely the amygdala) but also in our stress hormone activity and alterations and miscues of our body’s system that filters and distinguishes relevant information from irrelevant information. The love/hate dynamic that exists (loving/wanting your abuser but wanting/needing for that abuse to stop), causes profound torment and it really de-stabilizes the victim’s sense of self and value in the relationship, to the point they are questioning who they really are anymore. This causes the thalamus (where we process and integrate new incoming information, received from our senses with past information and properly categorizes it) and amygdala (primitive part of brain that puts us in fight/ flight or freeze/flag mode when danger is detected or falsely detected, as in this case), to perceive and send false danger signals repeatedly, to many bodily systems, including the HPA axis (hypothalamus, pituitary and adrenal gland system), which in cases of chronic stress, sends constant corticotropin-releasing hormones into the bloodstream to increase Central Nervous System activity, which as a result, becomes hyperactive. This also increases vagus nerve activity, which becomes dysregulated because of its new default setting of “over active”. When this happens, the vagus nerve loses its ability to self-regulate and is pushed beyond its limits of being able to function. It basically keeps our CNS ramped up and hyper-aroused, as if in perpetual “fight or flight”. Depending on how severe the trauma affects the victim, the opposite can also happen, where the victim’s systems shut down and numb out so they feel nothing instead of “too much”. In these cases, the victim becomes frozen, feeling as if they are paralyzed and can cause them to stay in ‘dissociated states” (being checked out due to not being able to emotionally and mentally handle the abuser, trauma, memories and physical sensations and feelings), for extended periods of time or vacillate between the two states. Since the very important vagus nerve (as demonstrated by Dr. Steve Porge’s, Polyvagal Theory), connects and affects our mind, brain and gut, victims may start experiencing symptoms within these areas such as, depression, anxiety, nausea, heartburn, acid reflux, IBS, gut problems, heart problems, muscle pain stiffness/trigger point development, (due to your muscles contracting and hardening to get ready for the external assault, even long after the threat is gone), sleep and cognitive/memory problems, unexplained pain, fatigue, lethargy, feeling disconnected, moody or exhausted. They also may be having more than normal colds, infections , etc. This is the point where victims are usually symptomatic enough to seek help from a medical doctor and receive a diagnosis of anything from, depression, anxiety, Fibromyalgia. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, pain disorders, PTSD, nerve problems, stress/tension headaches, migraines.thyroid issues and more, but the illness has not yet progressed enough to detect much if any, inflammation or an autoimmune disease in bio markers.
The constant release of stress hormones that keep its victims in fight or flight also tell the immune system to release pro-inflammatory cytokines, which kicks off the inflammatory process. If this process becomes severe and progresses, autoantibodies (immune proteins that mistakenly target a person’s own tissue) develop. This causes the attack of healthy tissue and becomes the immune system’s new default setting. The Autonomic Nervous System ( ANS) is affected when the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Parasympathetic nervous System (PNS), who normally work harmoniously and rhythmically together, become out of sync. This results in symptoms in relation to sleep, digestion and immunity, dissociation and finally, an autoimmune disease…
Abuse changes it’s victims, it changes the way we think, what we think about and how we perceive the people and world around us, (as being much more threatening.) Victims become hypervigilant, amped up, feel terrible visceral sensations and are filled with shame regarding the circumstances of the abuse. Shame loves to piggyback on trauma and comes from various sources in an abusive relationship. It comes from the victim not being able to stop the abuse, keeping the secret of the abuse, from things they felt they should have done, but did or did not do during the abuse and from being coerced and pressured into doing things that are completely out of their character but they do it to please, satisfy and many time to avoid a conflict or more abuse. Shame also comes from loving the abuser, the victim’s need to please the abuser and from internalizing the verbal and emotional abuse they endured, which told them they are terrible, unworthy and worse. Shame is unfortunately a big cornerstone of addiction because of its insidiousness and many layers, so it makes sense that many victims end up self medicating or escaping with drugs, alcohol and in other ways. Victims also self medicate to try to mask their extremely uncomfortable physical sensations that accompany the memories and “triggers” of the past. They no longer feel comfortable in their own bodies and find it very difficult to be “present” in the moment because they are stuck in their past agony not just mentally but physiologically (through ongoing very uncomfortable visceral sensations) which also leaves them unable to “self sooth.” Being a victim of this kind of abuse, also greatly increases their likelihood of suicide, as well. It certainly did in my case…
Please read part 2 of this article! THANK YOU FOR READING.
🦾KNOWLEDGE IS POWER-ARM YOURSELF.