“And she was called crazy and delusional, by the very man who systematically tried to drive her there.”
According to Wikipedia, “Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Using denial, misdirection, contradiction, and lying, gaslighting involves attempts to destabilize the victim and de-legitimize the victim’s beliefs.[1][2] Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim. The term originated from the 1938 Patrick Hamilton play Gas Light and its 1940 and 1944 film adaptations (both titled Gaslight), in which a character tries to make his wife believe that she has gone insane to cover his criminal activities. When he turns up the gas-fueled lights in the upstairs apartment in order to search for a murdered woman’s jewels, the gaslights in his own apartment grow dimmer but he convinces his wife that she is imagining the change. The term has been used in clinical and research literature, as well as in political commentary.” (Thanks Wikipedia!)
GASLIGHTING is a form of psychological and emotional abuse that abusers use to maintain power and control over their victim. It is like psychological violence and warfare, a form of mind control that is emotional bullying. This tactic can also set the stage for Stockholm Syndrome, a manifestation of the very real Trauma Bond phenomena.
The process of gaslighting- the lying, denying, using people, the duality, creating confusion, projections, character assassinations and manipulations start off very slow so the victim doesn’t realize they’re being brainwashed and it becomes incredibly insidious, in terms of family, friendships, social circles, jobs and more. I like to use the “frog in a pot of boiling water” metaphor to help explain this; If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, he realizes it immediately and tries to escape but if you put a frog into water that is room temperature and turn the heat up very slowly, it won’t even notice until it’s too late (especially if the man keeps distracting the frog) until it’s too late! The metaphor goes something like that. The point is that the victims are similar to the frogs in the room temperature water and the abuser turns up the heat in slow increments, by the process of GASLIGHTING, so the victim doesn’t realize it until so much damage has been done, and sadly some victims don’t ever make that realization at all. I was a frog🐸 for a long time but as I grew older and wised up, I began noticing inconsistencies in my ex’s stories, behaviors and things that just flat out didn’t make sense. Be ready for anger and the run around when you confront them or ask for clarification though! My ex was quite the GASLIGHTER. He is nearly famous for “talking out of both sides of his mouth”, here in these parts. It’s been especially noted by a couple of his former bosses, ex-wife, his kids and myself. I remember he would literally contradict himself in almost the same sentence sometimes when he was” off of his game”. Once I started noticing this, it became easier to pick up on and I started confronting him about the duality and contradictions of his words and behaviors. When my ex felt I was backing him into a corner about his lies etc., his preferred weapons of choice from his deviant bag o’ tricks, was the ‘ol “distract and redirect” play. If this technique sounds familiar to you it’s because parents are taught to do this with their children when they are misbehaving. It’s actually a great technique when it’s properly used with children but the anti-socials of the world have gone and weaponized it. SUPER! This play reminds me of those cons off the Vegas strip who used to have people play the shell game where they switch up 3 coconut shells real fast and tricky like, with a ping-pong ball hiding under one of them. Have you ever won at that game? Ya, me neither. These cons make sure we don’t, just like relationships with them. Relationships are a game to them, with a winner and a loser. They win and we lose …unless. Unless we arm ourselves with the knowledge of how to deal with these abusers and “Soulspirit Murderers”, or to avoid them entirely. Anyone can be susceptible to the GASLIGHTING process. This tactic is also very popular with cult leaders, dictators and politicians… Surprise! Ya, I know… you’re not really surprised by that last fact.
If any of this seems familiar to you or resonates with you on some level, please do yourself a big favor and investigate. And as always, listen to what your body and mind are telling you, they pick up on things “we” don’t notice! They, after all, have the ULTIMATE vested interested in your sanity, happiness and survival!
***KNOWLEDGE IS POWER…ARM YOURSELF***