🎭SOCIAL, PHYSICAL AND CONVERSATIONAL RED FLAGS (TELLS) OF THE PSYCHOPATH🎭

“I have a switch I can turn off and on”~ a psychopath I know… in reference to his itsy bitsy shallow emotions.

These creatures are very good at what they do, which makes them difficult to identify.  They are masters at taking your defenses and walls down and making you feel comfortable, entertained, engaged and at ease around them.  So much in fact, that they can even fool our 6th sense “gut feeling” into thinking they mean us no harm. That’s the truly scary part about it for me.  When trying to spot a psychopath (aka Soulspirit Murderer), there are some specific red flags (tells) you can watch for as you try to steer clear of these ultimate social predators.

THEIR EYES…  The eyes are said to be the windows to the soul and they can tell us much about the person behind them.  They are also a direct indicator of the emotions we are feeling at that moment in time. Our pupils are directly related to something called “emotional arousal’, which means that if we see, think about, recall, etc., something pleasing or shocking or anything that provokes an emotional response in a person, our pupils will dilate because of the  emotional reaction it causes. Psychopaths are emotionally deficient, so their pupils will not dilate like a normal persons would when looking at what would normally be arousing (either positive or negative) images, etc. Although they may have beautiful and aesthetically pleasing eyes, they won’t be “bright and shiny” but more like there’s a flatness or shallowness behind them or even deadened. This is actually a phenomena known as “dead eyes”, that is unique to the psychopath.  You may also notice their eyes will not light up when talking about family, loved ones or anything they supposedly love. If something is sad or upsetting, their eyes will not reflect their emotion . When talking to one, you may notice that their eyes are not “connecting” with yours even though they are looking  at you. It may look like they are looking right in front of your eyes (they are stopping their gaze just short of your eyes) or are looking right through you. They may even look past you when talking to you or everywhere but your eyes.  There’s also something known as the ‘psychopathic stare” and you’ll know when you’re the subject of one because it’s that stare that’s way too intense and way too long.  You’ll be the one who has to break this creepy stare!   

• THEIR WORDS...  Because psychopaths wear a “Mask of Sanity” (their “act” of being a good well meaning person as opposed to the scary predator behind the mask), in public and around most people, they have to carefully edit and filter their thoughts before they become words and that thought process takes time, so they are more likely to use a lot of “stall words”, also known as “disfluencies”, such as ‘’uh’ and “uhm”, in order to interrupt their speech and give themselves enough time to figure out what to say, according to Jeffrey Hancock, the lead researcher and an associate professor in communications at Cornell University.  Psychopaths are also very likely to ask you “probing” and invasive type questions (questions designed to make you divulge personal information) so they can figure out your assets and vulnerabilities. They will also divulge too much personal information but this is done strategically so you put your guard down and do the same.  When they ask you what your favorite things are, they will say it’s their favorite too. What a coincidence- you two must be made for each other…… NOT!!! They will brag, especially about things they’ve done that they shouldn’t be bragging about. You know, the inappropriate and downright questionable things they enjoy talking about doing, (like being a bully as a child), that make you feel uncomfortable and you question it. 
• WORD SALAD/NARC SPEAK-  They like to  engage in this semantic  cluster*uck when they feel threatened or even bored and need their stimulation.  This is designed to take the conversation in circles, confuse you and leave you saying, “what the hell just happened”?!?  They’ll pose a question and before you can even get half your answer out they’ll ask another that takes you in an entirely different direction in order to ‘distract and “redirect” your attention.  It’s like conversational whiplash!
• FAULTY LOGIC AND RATIONALE- as part of the word salad technique, they will throw a bunch of words together that just don’t make sense and often don’t follow any logical linear sequence.  They know very well that they’re not making sense but they speak with such confidence and conviction that you are left with the perceived responsibility of deciphering their junky jargon or baring the blame of what the argument is about. 
• OVERGENERALIZATIONS- These creatures typically have black and white thinking which leads  them to often overgeneralize when making points.  This is caused by something called “splitting”,  which “is the failure in a person’s thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole. It is a common defense mechanism.^[1] The individual tends to think in extremes-i.e., an individual’s actions and motivations are all good or all bad with no middle ground.”  (Thanks Wikipedia!)   This leaves them with a world of extremes and an inability to think of people as having both positive and negative qualities at the same time.  They may see you as GOOD when you are meeting their needs and feeding their fuel and therefore treat you nicely and then turn around and view you as BAD when you are frustrating them, etc and treat you accordingly.   This is a central defense mechanism for them.  This faulty thought process and mind set is where the extremes of idealization and devaluation of victims comes from.   The  idealization and devaluation of their victims is also a defense mechanism that not just protects their fragile ego but re-stabilizes their self-worth, sense of self importance and perception of power and control over their intended target. 
• When their actions or words make you feel awkward or uncomfortable, or you find yourself questioning them or being a little confused by them, please know, THAT IS LITERALLY YOUR 6TH SENSE AND SUBCONSCIOUS TELLING YOU, “HEY…YOU NEED TO LOOK INTO THIS SITUATION BECAUSE IT IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!”

• THEIR LAUGH– Yes, there is such a thing as the “psychopathic laugh” or “psycho laugh”, as I’ve accused my ex of exhibiting even before I  realized he really was one. These laughs are usually done in a higher octave than normal, come right on the heels of one of their power plays or some kind of abusive behavior against you where they prevailed, and each “ha ha” is deeper than the last, reflecting their satisfaction with themselves. These creepy and self-proclaimed victorious verbal outbursts are usually accompanied by a “gleam in their eye”, as I have found. (not to be mistaken for a light in their eyes, which requires real emotions.)

• They have a “switch”- It’s called an “empathy switch” and it’s usually on the “off “ setting just by virtue of their overall personality traits and disposition.  Most functioning psychopaths (the ones who can maintain themselves enough not to be incarcerated or who got in trouble early on, and learned to  “hone” their deviant skills and figured out better ways to stay out of the slammer , eh ehmmm), have some level of empathy and emotions, but they are severely stunted (aka. shallow affect.)  This means that they can easily “wall off” anything that feels like empathy or emotions to them as it suits them by “switching their switch to the “off” setting if it isn’t already there by default. They are naturally very good at “compartmentalizing” and separating their actions from any kind of emotion, which makes it very easy for them to commit a multitude of different types of crimes against people, physical and otherwise.  To them, they are just merely solving a problem that gets them what they want or need, but to the rest of us, we usually take into consideration if our and how our actions might affect others and adjust our actions accordingly.

• They are punishment resistant and reward driven- so basically this means that they choose their behavior not based on the potential consequence but by the potential reward.  They don’t “fear” punishment or negative consequences like the rest of us so it’s not a good deterrent. They respond better to rewards for good behavior, than punishment for bad behavior, if that makes sense!  I really think the only thing they genuinely fear besides their own demise, is monogamous long-term intimacy/relationships!

• They have an uncanny tendency of paying unusually close attention to things and elements that are relevant to their chosen goal, but have a deficit when it comes to acknowledging peripheral (secondary) information and integrating that to make fair, well informed logical choices.  This means they are great at hyperfocusing and bad at multitasking! This is because they lack something called “automatic perspective taking”, which means they can’t or choose not to look at things from someone else’s perspective. In other words, they don’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes in order to help make a better decision.  This is where their lack of empathy comes from. How can you “feel” for someone if you don’t know how they “feel”, ya know?

• They don’t see the “big picture”,  and have difficulty forecasting their future (usually financial) or learn from their mistakes- according to research co-author, Arielle Baskin-Sommer, of Yale University, in her research published in the “Proceedings of the national Academy of Sciences”  “These individuals have difficulty integrating information across contexts. One way to examine that problem is through cost-benefit decision making. (decision making based on weighing the cost vs. the benefit of the result of the decision about to be made) “ It may be that several of their behaviors like sensation seeking, engaging in criminal behavior, etc. is a result of the failure to notice cues in their environment, integrate that information, and use it to make future choices.  It is almost like every situation a psychopath encounters is brand-new to them,” she added. “They are not informed by history or use that new information to direct their future. It then becomes clear why they continually have encounters with the law; if you are unable to weigh the costs and benefits and integrate or remember contexts in which the similar situation has gotten you into trouble you are less likely to inhibit that behavior.”  

The unique neural wiring and structural and functional differences in these individuals leads to, decision making that excludes factoring in emotional variables or elements and maladaptive decision making processes that do not allow them to accurately forecast the trajectory and outlook of their future or correctly judge appropriate levels of danger of a potential situation.  Many of these types of “red flag” patterns of behavior take time to reveal themselves and when they do, much damage has usually already been done. Please, if any of this sounds familiar, do some investigating! Thank you!

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER- ARM YOURSELF!!!